Margie somehow managed to hurt herself over the weekend. I do not know what happened to her. On Sunday afternoon I was sitting on the couch reading. Margie came into the room, walked to the love seat and put her chin on it, and then rolled her eyes in my direction. It was a very pitiful look, even for her. Occasionally she is very lazy about hopping up onto the furniture and likes to have a boost. I figured this was it, so I leaned down to help her with her back feet as usual and she whined in pain. As the afternoon progressed, she moved with more and more difficulty. When I took her out, she had trouble getting up and down our front steps. I put her in my room while my small group was here and when I went to get her afterward, she didn’t want to come out of the room.
Matt and I looked her over thoroughly and couldn’t find anything visibly wrong with her. She always follows me around the house, but Sunday evening she had to be literally touching me at all times. She couldn’t get up on the couch so she sat on the floor with her head on my feet. Every once in a while she would whine and eventually she started to tremble. I was really worried. Finally, I got down on the floor beside her. I stretched out on the rug in the living room and she pressed up against me with her body running right along side of mine. I tried to comfort her and I remembered all those weekends after chemo when I was doped up with anti-nausea meds and she would lay on my bed for the entire weekend, never leaving my side. When ever I woke up, I would pat her and she would nuzzle me. It was nice to have her there.
I got up to check the internet, to try to figure out what her problem might be and see if there was anything I could do for her. I determined from my research that it was probably a disk problem and I also read that I could give her baby aspirin. I found some baby aspirin, wrapped it in a bit of cheese and gave it to her. When I got back down on the floor she snuggled right up to me again just as close as she could possibly get. After a while the trembling slowed and her breathing became regular. She went to sleep.
I had parent teacher conferences the next morning but George was able to take her to the vet and they gave her some better pain meds and said that she should rest. She is doing much better, almost back to normal, but I think her days of jumping up on furniture are over. We are going to have to get her one of those “big green pillows the size of an inner tube.” She is here with me, close, but not touching.
I was thinking about the way she behaved the other night and I realized that it was a picture of my relationship with God. I follow Him regularly. I try to stay close, to keep my eyes on Him, to watch for where He is working and join Him there. When I am really hurting though, I am not satisfied with that. When I am hurting, I want to snuggle up to Him, to get so close that I am touching Him at as many points as possible. I read more scripture than usual, especially the Psalms, I labor in prayer, I lay on my bed and listen to praise and worship music on my iPod. One of my favorite songs in times like this is an old Rich Mullins song with the words: “Hold me Jesus, ’cause I’m shakin’ like a leaf. You have been King of my glory, won’t you be my Prince of Peace?” In those times I just can’t function without His touch, and He is faithful. He comforts me, He stays with me, He ministers to my need and eventually, I rest in Him. The pain draws me closer to His heart.
“He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings you will find refuge.” Psalm 91:4